At the age of 3 and 4 years, children are developing their sense of self and are starting to realize they can do things on their own. Daily, we see them challenging their bodies physically by balancing on the logs outside. We see their social skills growing as they play with their friends, work out problems and share toys. We also see them being able to follow instructions and routines more and more with less help.
Opportunities to develop independence are extremely important for building self-esteem as well as perseverance and handling frustration tolerance.
We set a routine to help the children remember the chain of events and know what to expect. This allows them to be independent as they move from one thing to another. For example, after we have group time each morning, we go outside for a walk. The children know that when we say it’s time to go outside, this requires them to follow the steps of, going to the bathroom, washing their hands, and getting their boots and jackets on. There are many skills involved in this small routine and some children get overwhelmed by this. We break it down for them and go one step at a time as we know this is the best way to allow them to be successful.
Many children struggle with getting their jackets or muddy buddies on independently, so we are always there to assist if needed. We teach them the “jacket flip” and help to connect the bottom of their zipper but then leave it to them to finish. Being supportive but stepping back is a chance to let children try on their own and power through their frustration. Often, they realize they can do something on their own and are very excited to tell us about it.
While this process of getting ready to go outside may take three times longer than it would if we just did it all for them, we know that this is where they build skills.
It’s funny that while many young children fight to do some things on their own and won’t let anyone help, there also seem to be tasks that they insist they cannot do even though we know they can. Sometimes we just must be patient and find fun ways to encourage them to try to do it on their own.
One thing we are working on is teaching them which shoe goes on which foot. We have placed a half star sticker inside each of their shoes. When they put them on, we ask them to make a star. When the shoes are placed side by side correctly, they will see the whole star.
Some other independent skills we have been encouraging are being able to open and close their snack and lunch containers, and open food packages.
We had noticed that R often asked us to open her yogurt tube for her. A very simple two-second task for us but also an opportunity to learn a new skill. By showing her how to use scissors to cut off the top, she not only practiced how to use scissors, but now she can open her snack independently.
As a parent, I know time is not on our side and we often end up doing things for our children because we are in a rush. In the Early Learning Program, we are lucky to have the time to let children try, try and often try again until they can master a new skill.
Over the past four months, we have seen the children working on these independence skills and being successful. We know that over the next few months, they all will have mastered the skills to be independent in a variety of ways. And of course, we are always there to support and help if needed.
